Life as I know it

So I have started doing the South Beach Diet. It is only Day Two and I really think that it is going to be hard. The past two mornings I have choked down vegetable juice cocktail which is disgusting-- it smells disgusting, looks disgusting, tastes disgusting, feels disgusting, and IS disgusting. But I am trying to be good and stick to the diet. So until the bottle is gone I will keep drinking it every morning. 

Today lunch was also disgusting. It was not as disgusting as the vegetable juice cocktail. It was mushroom soup... which is died mushrooms, chicken broth, and spices. I would like to share that I am not a fan of mushrooms. After eating the mushroom soup I am still not a fan. I had to choke it down-- but I am trying to stick to this darn diet.

I am also hungry all the time. I think that is a mental thing because I am eating, but I am not enjoying the food. All I do right now is cook and clean the kitchen so I can cook. I make the food, but I don't feel like eating it afterwards. It is a very weird thing. I slightly would rather not eat than eat this food. 

But if I want to meet my goals I have to change my eating habits. I also have to go to the gym 5 days a week. Well, that is the goal. I am taking charge of my life. I want to get healthy. I want to improve my life. 

I am feeling a little stuck right now... Like my life is routine. I like routine. But right now this is my routine. Wake up at 5:15am. Shower or eat breakfast. Work 6 to 9am. Then I either continue to work, or workout and tan. Then I usually work until about 5 pm. After that I try to relax and start thinking about supper. Then depending on when husband comes home we eat and hang out for hopefully an hour. We don't hang out enough. He gets so tired during the week--He goes to work and then he is supposed to work until 6pm. But it is never 6pm--EVER. I miss him every day when he goes to work. I mean I go to work before he does every morning, but I usually get to see him leave through the window(not as creepy as it sounds). Once the clock says 6pm, I miss him even more because he is supposed to be done with work then. 


I look forward to having him home every night. I am so glad to be married. He makes me so happy and most of the time he understands me. Most of the time because well you can't understand someone all of the time. I think that he actually understands me more than I give him credit for. But I am grateful for him. I am blessed with a great man and I can't wait to see how great he becomes. 

If I am going to be stuck in a routine I am happy to be stuck in it with my husband. Because I know that he loves me ALL the time.


Well...That is just how my brain functions... I have so many thoughts all at once. 


Until next time...

 

Vacation: Day Seven

Day Seven

Well, it is Friday. But not a typical Friday because I am still on vacation. Although I see it coming to an end very soon. We have a very jam packed weekend. Tomorrow my family comes to town. Well, actually I am bringing them to the airport so they can go to Florida for their family vacation. It is the first one without me since I am now a married woman with my own family. It is weird to think that I have my own family even though it is just me and husband. But that is what we are and I LOVE IT. He makes me so happy and drives me crazy. Just like a family does. :) My mom also said it is weird to plan a vacation without me because I always voice what I want to do on vacation there is no guessing. But my brothers don't always voice what they want and so my mom is left to guess what they actually want to do. I am going to miss going on vacation with them. However, I take on a different personality when I go on vacation with my family. I become a very moody version of myself-- extreme highs and lows which is odd for a girl who is typically rather even keeled. I hope they have a great time  because I did on my first family vacation without them. It is a bittersweet thing. But growing up is just that... bittersweet. 

Then I have a girls night tomorrow night. Which should be fun, but I don't really relax well. So we will see how that turns out. I get very anxious about these kinds of things and very self conscious.  I have lots of thoughts running through my hear "Is my outfit cute enough?" "I should be working out harder." "Am I too sarcastic?" "Why am I so serious?" "Why can't I just relax?" "What is husband doing?" and blah blah blah. 

After, those two activities. We are hosting lunch at our place on Sunday for his parents, sister and her husband. We are making Potato Soup which we made today just to make sure it was okay. It was good. I was nervous because I have never made soup from scratch. I feel a lot of pressure to be perfect for his family. No one has put this pressure on me-- I put it on myself. It's just that his mom is very much the bakes you treats and cooks great food. But she also is a full-time teacher who volunteers and does so many extra things. His sister also really enjoys to cook, bake, and host events and her house. I just don't quite fit the mold. But he did not marry me because I fit that mold. But I still feel like I have to impress them every time.

Back to what happened on Day Seven

* I oddly enough woke up at 6:30am which is odd since I stayed up watching Friends until about midnight. I should have been more tired, but instead I just stayed in bed watching husband sleep. :)

* Then we got up at like 8 and had a light breakfast. I did some cleaning around the apartment.

* We went to the gym. Then we did some Just Dance on the Wii while making the Potato Soup.

*Then I finished cleaning the apartment-- well kind of there are still somethings that have to be done. Since I feel the need to impress my  house needs to be spotless,

* For the rest of the night we had alone time. He paid bills and watched survival shows. I watched One Tree Hill and painted. It was nice. But I miss him when we have alone time even though he was just in the other room. I love him so much that during my alone time I always find myself thinking about my husband. I think about why I love him and how good it is to be married to him.

So I am sad that my vacation is coming to an end. But I decided tonight that husband and I need to have a little more fun in our lives and enjoy life a little more every day. Hopefully, we can make that happen because I don't want life to pass us by without us really taking the time to enjoy it.

Vacation: Day Six

Day Six

* We slept in until about 8:30am. Which was amazing. I hope it doesn't take too long to adjust to getting up at 5:15am next week.

* We got a knock on our door at 8:50am... BREAKFAST!

* We were so excited to see what delicious treats we were going to have. Breakfast was a very fancy BLT type sandwich. It was fresh baked bread, with mayo, lettuce, bacon, poached egg, cherry tomatoes, and avocados. This sandwich was yummy. Also we had fresh and warm scones and fruit(bananas, strawberries, and oranges). Then again we finished eating and there was another knock on the door. DESERT!! It was apple cheesecake and ice cream. 

* Then we had to get ready and pack up. Check out was at 11am. 

* We had such a long drive(30 minutes)...so we took a two hour nap when we got home. :) 

* Since we are now home I felt like I had to get back into a "normal" routine. So I went to the gym and went tanning. 

* Then husband and I did more normal things grocery shopping, watching American Idol, and watching Couples Retreat. 

Our vacation isn't over. But I feel like we are going to be doing very normal things these next three days. Because we already did a lot of shopping and we went on a little trip. Now we are back to relaxing at home. I am going to try to be crafty and organize our home. 

We already have plans for the weekend. Saturday we are bringing my family to the airport and I have a girls night. Then Sunday we are hosting his parents because they will be in town. We are going to attempt make Potato Soup for them and be all host-like. 

I am liking not working and it is going to be hard going back to work on Monday. I am getting a little stir crazy, but I don't want to work. I just don't know what it is that I want to do...

Well... Goodbye. Until tomorrow...

Vacation: Day Five

Day Five

* We slept in until like 8. We woke up on opposite sides of the bed. A king size is so big. 

* At 9am, the owners knocked on the door. Husband opened the door and there was a basket. Breakfast was in the basket... Breakfast was delicious. It was some sort of egg, cheese, and tomato yumminess. :) Also there was sausage, fruit(bananas, black berries, and pineapple), and a fresh baked bread. We were almost done eating breakfast when we got another knock on the door. Husband opened the door... DESERT! It was fresh baked(still warm) coffee with ice cream. Yes, that's right breakfast ended with desert. It was the best breakfast that I have ever had. *

* Then once we got ready for the day we went to downtown Stillwater to check out all of the shops. Well, not all of them because there are so many, but we went to many shops. We spend a lot of time of time wondering in an Antique Mall -- there are three levels. We took some pictures of really funny things and had several good laughs while wondering. 

* We had lunch at Leo's Malt Shop. I had a burger and fries(of course) and husband had a burger and chips plus wild rice soup. It was so good. I would highly recommend it. 

* We then went back to our place. I relaxed in the whirlpool tub and husband relaxed in the steam shower. 

* I also spent some time wondering the bed and breakfast checking out the other rooms and the antique stuff in the house. I also talked to the owner about places to eat.

* We ended up going to Whitey's for "supper". We had chicken quesadillas and jalapeno cream cheese wantons. The wontons were incredible. Then we went back to Leo's and had a Butterfinger shake which was also wonderful.

* Then we went back to the bed and breakfast. We watched American Idol and played Rummy. 

* Then we just hung out in our room listening to music.

* I really enjoyed today. Husband and I really enjoyed each other. We had fun just wondering and looking at things neither of us talking or thinking about work. This is why I wanted to marry him because we can just go places and enjoy being around each other. It has been a long time since we have been this relaxed and truly enjoyed each others company. It was a great day.

Vacation: Day Four

Day Four

* Alarm started going at 6am... We were going to work out, but neither of us wanted to get out of bed. We live in a basement and it was cold.

* Had a little breakfast and got ready for the day.

* We are now off to the Mall of America. It was a long trip to the mall, but it was fun. Took the husband to the Rain Forest Cafe for the first time. We both found several things to buy while we were there.

* We checked into our bed and breakfast at about 4:30om. We went and got pizza from Victoriano's New York Style Pizza. It is a new place in Stillwater. The owners of the bed and breakfast hadn't tried it yet, but they had heard good things. It was pretty good. So we watched some TV and ate pizza. Then we used the 2 person whirlpool tub which was HUGE! We also tried out the Swedish Steam shower which was also HUGE. There were two seats in the walk in shower.  I didn't really care for the steam shower it was so hot. It was like a sauna.

* The first floor there is a music room, dinning room, sitting room, and a front room. The second floor is where the guest rooms are and there are about six of them. The third floor is where the owners live. Our room was super cute.  When you walk in there was a little table, a love seat facing our fireplace and then on the left the bathroom, and then the king sized bed. It was weird to be staying in a house. It is a different feeling than staying in a hotel.

Vacation: Day Three

Day Three

* Slept in until 9am!
* Ate pancakes and bacon made by husband.
* Stressed out about not sticking to our "schedule"--- a schedule for a vacation... I am so type A
* Went to the Outlet Mall for hours.
* Took a break and had a late lunch at Culver's.
* Continued our shopping.
* Went to Target to get some things we forgot yesterday. Plus a take and bake pizza.
* Watched our Monday night comedy line-up.
* Watched Once Upon a Time during my alone time and also found my journal which has been missing for almost a year. Or at least I have not written in it in that long. :( 
* Set up my easel for painting. 
* Missing a friend who I may never have again... hence the need for my journal and painting.

I don't really know what to do about the friend that I am losing. I mean I think we lost each other a long time ago. But I don't want to let go. I don't know how to fix it. I don't really know what happened. It breaks my heart. I don't know how you go from being so close to feeling like strangers who know each others pasts. It's like I have read the story of her life, but now I am missing pages...

Vacation: Day Two

Vacation: Day Two

* Slept until 8.
* Watched One Tree Hill
* Went to the Mall-- got new dishes. :)
* Went to Chilis for lunch-- Favorite place to eat.
* Went to Target and Barnes and Noble.
* Came home.
* Went to Culver's for a late supper.
* Worked on a craft project while watching the Big Bang Theory with husband.

I am still not convinced that I am on a vacation... But there is always day three which will consistent of more shopping with husband. 

Vacation: Day One

Day One:

* I slept in until 8 am-- usual wake up time is 5:15am.

* Went to a training session at the gym at 9:30.

* Went tanning.

* Went to the store.

* Came home to my husband. Who has been a little under the weather for day one of our vacation.

* Had soup with husband for lunch.

* Watched TV- looked online for decorating ideas.

* Painted nails-- Crackle Nail Polish is not all that it is cracked up to be. ;) haha.

* Had soup with husband for lunch.

* Watched Friends with husband while sorting important papers.

* Decided to update my Blog. :)

I am not sure if I will be able to relax on this vacation of ours. I just want to go upstairs and chat with the people who are working. It is so abnormal for me to have the chance to relax. But I am sure husband will make sure I relax this week.

Wish me luck!

Wow...It's been a LONG time

So it has been a really long time since I have written on here. I have read other people's thoughts, but I have not put any of mine down.

Here is what I got:

I have had some questions answered since my last post. Such as I have a "real" job. I don't get total separation work because I live where I work. Yep, that is correct. I supervise a group home and I really enjoy it. However, I never get away... But I love it so I don't really care that I never get away. I like that I have a "real" job and somewhat of a routine. 


I also am really enjoying marriage. It is a blast. Sure we don't always get along, but that is rare. We are the best of friends. We are currently on vacation-- a stay-cation. We are staying home because he wanted to relax at home. But we are going to a cute little B and B for two nights because I wanted to get away. Marriage is a compromise and I love the give and take.